Bad People
by heavens to bikini kill
Summary: Jou always knew that he shouldn't mess with bad people. Unfortunately, they messed with him. (more of a Yu Gi Oh satire than humor fic, most likely assorted hints of yaoi, SetoxJou, yes I am making fun of everybody, even you.)


Bad People 

by Heavens to Bikini Kill (who can't finish anything she starts)

**One **

**Notorious**

He was, without a doubt, the most dangerous man that he knew.

Not that he was some pompous ass, full of himself, swaggering around as if nobody in Japan should ever fuck with him (believe you me, hundreds of people had). He just noticed that not too long after he broke that guy's fingers in the middle of that noodle shop just down the street from some dinky game store (Kame? Who would name their store after the slowest animal in the zoo?), people just seemed to avoid him.

He obviously heard the rumors flying around him, about him. It didn't really matter. If the people of Domino were that scared of somebody just because of rumors, it suited him just fine, so long as they stayed out of his way. He was certain that the broken fingers said all of that for him.

There he was, the infamous Q, feared and avoided just because he broke a guy's fingers.

Were people immature or what?

Regardless, Q decided to shake it off. He had no intention of staying in this cheesy little pulled-right-out-of-some-anime town. He was gonna get his girl, finish some "unfinished business," and blast on out of there. Then they'd move out to America... he saw it all now. They were all gonna share a huge flat in New York City, and they'd drink cheap wine and smoke Cuban cigars. They'd dump caviar all over their stolen Saltine crackers.

But. First things first.

Q stepped out of that old, dusty Cadillac that had the origin that he simply could not remember. He straightened his tie, and flicked an imaginary bit of dust off his cheap black coat. The cigarette in his mouth fell to the concrete, and he swiftly crushed it with the toe of his patent leather shoe.

It was show time.

He walked into the warehouse that was in the middle of nowhere, just off the road to nonexistence. If anybody else was in the area, they would have heard screams of pain, screams of joy, a few gunshots, and if they had really acute hearing, the slash of Japanese steel against bone.

Q emerged from the nowhere warehouse with a 9mm in one hand, and the plainest girl in the world's existence in the other. The girl carried a now sheathed sword, probably the nicest thing in her possession, comparing to her raggedy, loose, torn clothes. But if you had any sense, you wouldn't dare to tell Q any of these things. Seeing as (1) he was too badly stricken in love with her, and (2) he wasn't the most attractive guy himself.

The girl stopped right in front of the dusty Cadillac and smiled at Q. Her shaggy black hair fell for a moment in front of her eyes, but she either didn't notice or didn't care. "How'd you find me, Q?"

He grinned right back as he brushed the hair away from her face. "I'm the man, O. I'm the man."

O's smile grew, and she adjusted her skirt, twisted her Puma sneakered ankle around for a moment, and jumped into the dusty Cadillac, resting her head on Q's shoulders as he drove them back to Domino.

_Transition back to the Domino that we all know, and that you are no doubt more comfortable with._

Jonouchi Katsuya was most certainly not the greatest student in Domino High. He didn't get the greatest grades, and his relationships with some of the teachers could... afford some improvement. But above everything else, Jonouchi Katsuya was most definitely sure, no, he _knew_, that he was not stupid.

Now if only Kaiba were made aware of this. Apparently, shouting, "fuck you, rich twat!" wasn't the most effective method.

Kaiba Seto, the wealthiest, smartest, and as of late, the rudest, boy in all of Domino High, seemed rather pathetic to the most observant (that would include yours truly, the authoress). It was a matter of common sense. An extremely successful entrepreneur with not only money but also international dueling fame should have quite a bit of things to do on his agenda. Rather than doing them, Kaiba seemed content with verbally tormenting his precise opposite, Jonouchi Katsuya. Why Kaiba would ever waste his time carrying out such a fruitless task was the question of the day, month, or even year, but no one questioned it.

Katsuya, or better known to his friends (and now to us) as Jou, had a really nasty habit of ignoring the useful matter of common sense, particularly when he was angry. This senseless anger was normally brought about by either injuries done to his family and friends, or insults directed at his dueling skills or his intelligence. Kaiba, who apparently could not be bothered with the menial tasks of running his company or just being his heartthrob self, chose to direct his "scathing" words at Jou's intelligence.

If Jou were in his right, logical, rational state of mind, he would have brushed off Kaiba's words as those coming from a lonely, cold boy who wished to feel better about himself by insulting those who may not have as much as he did. But insults to his intelligence put him out of his right, logical, rational state of mind. And the end result was Jou Shouting Kaiba Down Episode Number Ten Thousand Seven Hundred and Ninety Three. The authoress knows this because she counted the number of the same exact occurrences on this very same web site.

As per usual, the shouting match ended with Kaiba laughing (he does not know how to laugh, though nobody ever bothered to tell him so), Jou fuming, Kaiba walking away, and Jou's best friends (now listed according to stereotypes) Motou Yugi (the short one), Mazaki Anzu (the ditzy one), and Hiroto Honda (the one with the motorcycle and the pencil head) all trying to calm him down the same way that they had been for the past one hundred and fifty episodes of Yu-Gi-Oh! (Even though the same "soothing" phrases they used obviously never worked.)

Jou left the school campus, by himself because he exploded at Anzu for using the word "friendship" five times in one sentence, and therefore decided that walking home by himself all the way to Domino's M District, the second slummiest in town, without any protection or self-defense experience, was the best option. He walked block after block, selectively ignoring the obvious change in scenery. Sillier and ruder men would say that he went to the wrong side of the tracks, but there wasn't a train track running through the middle of the city, because that would be bad planning on the city's part.

Enough of that obvious tangent. Jou walked on his way to his terrible, stinking apartment where his father was no doubt making his liver wish itself out of existence. However, our Jou never really got the chance to take a good last whiff of his home.

That was because he saw two figures, neither of them very attractive, pull out a 9mm and a pump shotgun out of a dusty old Cadillac, and walk into the apartment building right across the street from him.


End file.
